Bouncy

Love has its ups and downs.

Cheer up! What’s better than to dream about something – out of the ordinary? 😀

Goodnight guys and gals!

Be well.

BLOGGING   LIFE/STYLES   MY STORIES   WHISPER   ZONE

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15 thoughts on “Bouncy

  1. Fun video – nice break from my non-stop Christmas tunes.

    Since I have always stayed too long at the fair, hoping that beloved’s take-me-for-granted behavior was a “phase” that would pass, this would be a song to inspire me to break it off sooner – but once I’m done, I’m DONE (and outa’ there!)

    Funny – the men in my life have all been surprised when I left, leaving me to exclaim, “What? I’ve been telling you that this was a deal-breaker forever. Do you think I just like to bitch?!”

    xx, mgh

      1. It IS foundational – can’t have a relationship with others unless we’ve handled the one with ourselves (both parties).

        Still, I agree that so many of life’s goodies come in relationship to others — but NOT as “the woman’s auxiliary to a man’s life!” which so many men of my generation seemed to have been raised to expect.

        Pity – for both of us. IMHO, relationships take paying careful attention to the balance between give AND take.

        Obviously (given what I do on ADDandSoMuchMore) I LOVE supporting others – but the joy is sucked dry if I notice, over time, that it only goes one way!
        xx,
        mgh

      2. You’re right about the balance between give and take. However, people sometimes believe that if one is really in love, there are times the imbalance can be tilted either way.
        Men asks for submission in a relationship while women asks for fidelity. In today’s world, both demands to the point that if what they ask for is not achieved, the easy way is to sever the ties.
        Every situation is different though. I believe there is no formula for a happy relationship. Flaws of both men and women will be present. It’s up to them how to adjust to any difficulties that could come their way.
        There is always time. But to slice it into portions for everyone to get their piece is somewhat difficult. Scheduling will be the next best option.

      3. Totally agree – if you count “tit for tat” you will be miserable! That’s the main reason I always stay too long at the fair.

        I am all to eager to help pull his wagon, confident that when I need to ride there will be a willingness to return the favor (seldom, btw, but when I do, I REALLY do, even if my request seems tiny to him!)

        It takes more than a few “not right now”-s for me to decide that I’m in a relationship with a taker (and I give warnings before I bolt), but I’ve thrown a lot of time and energy under the wrong bus throughout my life.

        SO hard to ID up front, because most men are great in the “courting” phase – the “helping” behaviors have only disappeared IN the relationship. Sad, sad, sad!

        I’ve actually gotten a few apologies, years later – but the relationship died way back when: once broken, trust takes A LOT of work to rebuild. Personally, I can more easily forgive an infidelity than a lack of what I call “showing up for partnership.”

      4. “I’ll give you the moon and the stars.” It’s one of the oldest line men like to use. 😀
        I think, doing household chores to help a woman at home, is more romantic. Come to think of it, it should be the norm for a happy relationship.
        I am sure you will find the right partner in time. Men are most afraid of intelligent women but there will be someone who will accept you for who you are.

      5. “Helping” is the wrong frame, IMHO. “Sharing the responsibility fairly” is my take on it.

        And you are right – respect is ALWAYS more romantic!

        SUPPORT me in going after my own moon and stars.

        RE; “right partner” – at this point in my life, he would practically have to ride in on a dragon to get my attention as anything different lol.

        xx, mgh

      6. “Sharing the responsibility fairly” is a balanced way of looking at it. In our setting, women are mostly housewives so the ‘helping’ term applies. Men usually sit around after work and watch their wives labor with the chores.
        There will be difference in cultures. Men and women should find the common denominator to share a relationship with mutual trust and respect. And as you aptly said, it is more romantic.
        Wait for the man riding the dragon. He’ll come. 🙂

      7. From your lips to God’s ears? (lol – At the rate he’s “coming” I sure hope I’m still young enough to enjoy a few good years with him when he gets here).

        While I understand about “cultural differences,” it always seemed patently unfair to me that men get “off” work and women never do (if they are solely responsible for the majority of the tasks of running the mutual household).

        “A man may work from sun to sun, but woman’s work is never done.” HUH? (And it’s such soul-deadening work too, with a few happy and creative exceptions.)

        It has always seemed such a selfish and entitled point of view to expect a woman to be one’s maid, laundress, bill-minder & check-writer, etc. – with, to me, no affinity for any claim of LOVE for a *partner*.

        A stay-at-home female (OR male) certainly must handle the majority of the household tasks &/or child-care – DURING the hours the other is “at work” for wages. I firmly believe that “after hours” both must share equally – time-wise, tho’ tasks will certainly be different, set by talent & ability, strength and preference.

        I will happily do MOST of the grocery shopping & organizing of same, cooking, home sewing (like making curtains, etc) decorating, and other relatively creative tasks. I light a mean Christmas tree, & don’t mind laundry detail TOO much as long as the clothes make it into the hamper, pockets emptied ::grin:: and dish duty & house-cleaning isn’t ALSO all mine to do.

        NOBODY deserves to get stuck with ALL of what I call “the dog-sh*! details” of life unless you are PAYING them (the compilation of tasks involved have been valued at over $50K/year in some courts, btw)

        LOL – in one relationship with a man I was engaged to and living with, I actually went on an unannounced “strike” – suddenly stopped doing *everything* so that he could see how very much I HAD been handling alone. (btw – I ALSO ran a business that actually brought in a bit more money than his at that time).

        #1 – except for food-prep & grocery shopping, it took almost a month for him to even notice (when he ran out of clean clothes!)
        #2 – we were in relationship therapy on the way toward marriage, so when he brought it up there, both he AND the [female] therapist questioned my actions.

        To their credit, they both sort-of cringed and changed their respective tunes when I asked, “Why is that ‘F’ on MY report card? He didn’t do it either.” But it goes to show how deeply the “woman as housemaid” meme is entrenched.

        We discussed a more equitable division of labor for the remainder of the session and things got quite a bit better for a while – despite the fact that he wasn’t too happy about spending “his” time sharing less than half of it. (My POINT, right?)

        IMHO, as long as both are sincere in their efforts & neither lazy or shirking, BOTH are entitled to equal time “off” (however they work it out, schedule-wise). NO bitching and moaning (or passive/aggressive behavior) about it!

        I find it difficult to understand why that is such a radical concept for so many Boomer generation men (Gen-X seems to have evolved beyond the expectation that a woman will devote the minutes of her life facilitating HIS life like a Mom, thank goodness — at least in educated America.)

        Onward and upward!

        xx, mgh

      8. Your points are right on the spot. Ideally, such an understanding between a man and a woman could work when both agree to share responsibilities equitably.
        However, I could not see such a condition happening locally. Men will always make it sure women do most of the household chores. If the woman is working, a maid will be hired.
        Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I did enjoy our discussion. 🙂

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