Whatever you do, as most people would tell you, never lose control.

I have tried to follow this reminder for so long I could remember but there were those times situations forced me to surrender it that eventually led me to dire consequences.

The best example I could think of is falling in love. Once the arrows hit us, we’re gone to that complicated world, where control is constantly fought over by lovers.

Who should lead in love? Men claim they should. Women will say otherwise.

Before, when I lost control of my feelings, I suffered. If I could only show what Love did to my heart, you could imagine a figuratively Swiss-cheese-looking organ, too many invisible holes created by aches of disappointments, of my own making and the ones I loved.

Such setbacks could lead us to take charge completely, I did, and refrained to ever lose control because of Love. Some people might call it hatred. I called it a freeze; emotionless, duh.

No! I am not saying I am through with Love. That’s far from the truth.

You could say I am wary, ever careful, guarded, and most of all I distance myself from anyone who would trap me in a situation I could lose control again.

Yet, I always believe in Fate. That’s the given in my equation. If Love will still be a part of it, then so be it.

My journey will continue as I like it to be. Only destiny could foretell where I would be headed.

Note: This post should have been published much earlier. Problem was, I was not in control of the internet connection that crawled much slower than a snail. Bummer.



2 thoughts on “Said

  1. That was actually quite lovely to read. I have taken the opposite direction, my best decisions have come about from complete surrender. Heartbreaking yes, but the other side is quite wonderful so I don’t regret it at all. I suppose loosing oneself completely is always a danger through, so really knowing where you end and another person begins is somewhat critical.

    1. Honesty of one’s feelings is always admirable in my book. I am sure you had your reasons then and you accepted the consequences. I did, too.
      I am not immune to pain, though. 🙂 Sometimes, it could be tiring to be always at the losing end. That’s probably part of my fate.
      Thank you for sharing your thoughts. 🙂

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