Believe me, I know what real pain is.

How would you feel when you profess the truth about your feelings and the person you love would not trust you? She makes you part of her life but she believes her imaginary fear that you are like every man who abandoned her. How do you reverse her notion?

I experienced it first hand. With cultural difference already a barrier, I felt like an accused pleading innocence but the judge already found me guilty of my crime without culpable reason.

Was it a crime to be a foreigner and love a local girl?

Was it a crime to help her raise a son from the man who left her?

Was it a crime to ask her of marriage?

There was love. For her, it was enough. For me, it wasn’t. I needed her complete trust.

Months passed but I still failed.

Pain was when I could not open my heart for her to see that I was telling the truth. Pain was hearing her constant words that I would not be the last man to leave her. Pain was when her son began to discover I could be a father he could never have. Pain was when I accepted I could not measure up with her image of her knight in shining armor.

She won.

We ended our relationship because I could not handle the pain. I was dying. Love killed me slowly.

Our fates crossed but separated. Mine led me back home.



23 thoughts on “Finality

  1. Powerful and well said. You’re right you know, one of the most painful things in the world is when you try to lay beauty at someone’s feet and they can’t even see it because they’re haunted by all these ghosts and they’ve built walls around themselves.

    That really is excruciating.

    1. You described the situation accurately. That’s how I felt while reasoning with her. I failed.
      My mind could not understand. I could not accept that my offer was discarded just like that.

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