Heartbreak

“Come back.”

“I did not leave.”

“You always do,” she said sadly.

The meaning of sharing confused me, not her. We shared the material things and mentally it worked. But emotionally, she sacrificed a lot to teach me what it should be. I wasn’t prepared to give up my freedom.

“You want what you want,” she told me once, forgiving my faults for the nth time.

“I am sure you do, too,” I replied automatically, trying to move on as quickly as possible.

“No, I want what we want. There’s a big difference.”

A few years was not enough to complete my transformation. She failed to mold me as her ideal man. I did not help her to make me who I was supposed to be.

She gave me all the chances in the world yet I did not take advantage of them. She was my ideal woman but only up to a point. I was too preoccupied with living the carefree life.

“You love me and yet you do not love me.”

“I don’t understand.”  I could feel her disappointment.

“You do but you won’t.”

The blame was all mine because I drove her out of my life. She could not bring me back: I was already lost.

Fate dictated her departure. Our paths were destined to separate. She fought it: I surrendered to it.

“Goodbye, my love.”

With those words, my first serious relationship ended.

When she was gone, only then I realized part of me was paralyzed. I was a man out of love and unloved.

It was never easy to forget her nor I would want to. I needed our shared memories to last so that I would always know what pain really was, is.

I saw my future: it was blank. Perhaps, love can paint something beautiful on it.

BLOGGING   LIFE/STYLES   MY STORIES   WHISPER   ZONE

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25 thoughts on “Heartbreak

  1. “We shared the material things and mentally it worked. But emotionally, she sacrificed a lot to teach me what it should be.” similiar to me…fate or coincidence?

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