While I was searching for the continuation of a short story in one of my several boxes of junk, I found a handwritten note on a paper faded by years of inattention. The mark that it was crumpled once gave me an indication that it was worthless. But then, I am surprised why it did not reach the trash can long ago.
This time, I feel I have to share to you its contents.
To Whom It May Concern,
It has come to my attention that you are accepting applications for a vacant post in your life. It is my intention to fill the spot. As per your qualifications, I am pleased to enumerate the reasons why I am the most perfect candidate for your approval.
1. I do not drink alcohol nor smoke. I don’t even know how to gamble.
2. I am a homebody. I don’t go out with friends and waste my time.
3. I can do the household chores.
4. I hate shopping.
5. I get along easily with old people.
6. I can do everything you want me to do. I mean, everything.
I would appreciate it if you come to my house, ready to ask my parents for my hand in marriage. You do not need to bring a gift. A simple engagement ring will do.
Yours very sincerely,
P.S. Please burn this note if I do not meet your satisfaction.
I could not read the crossed out signature because I do not recall how I reacted to it. I am not even sure where it came from. 😀