If I am not sure of something, I balk. 🙂

I would like to take you back to the grunge phase of my life in the early 1990’s. It was the most daring and probably the most reckless part of my adulthood.

I think most of you have experienced something out of the ordinary, whether to your liking or not. You could have been a willing participant in some wild actions you and your friends did to feel that youthful drive in you.

Mine started as a simple get-together with newly-known friends, where the love of the same kind of music collected us in such a multicultural diverse group. I was like the sore thumb because I was often called the Conscience. You would understand the appellation later.

Pearl Jam, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Nirvana and the rest of the Seattle bands that became popular back then were our common point of agreement. We could talk for hours while our ears digested the ‘deep’ and ‘thought-provoking’ lyrics. We were drunk with grunge. 🙂

I did not know who suggested it but I could perfectly remember that it was I who was the lone dissenter about the idea. Almost all in the group frowned at my logical reasoning, shooting down the whim of a notion they all agreed to take part into.

I was not affected by peer pressure so I got the tag. I held on to it like a badge of honor.

However, I could not explain how and why they succeeded in getting me on. Perhaps, the serious assurance in their faces that they would not let anything bad happen to me while I was with them, became the catalyst to my assent.

The small amphitheater was filled to the rafters, so to speak. A copy-cat local band would be doing cover songs of foreign popular groups. It would be a night to remember.

Boisterous was the only adjective to describe the event. Everyone was on their feet, dancing and singing, shouting and clapping, and everything else one could think of.

Then, it was the moment of truth. I was selected to be the first with everyone in my group nodding their consent. I climbed up the stage without permission. I took a deep breath and sucked up the words from Pearl Jam’s song Alive.

I dove.

My eyes were open during that short seconds of flight. No feeling of fear ever crossed my mind. I was a wingless archangel waiting to be welcomed by mortals down on earth.

I landed on the arms of my friends, who were more enthusiastic than I was, They had a reason to celebrate. Finally, the Conscience learned the meaning of Trust.



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